Stay or go?
Pre-separation counselling can help
While traditional couples therapy strengthens relationships, pre-separation counselling provides guidance for couples considering breaking up.
Also known as ‘discernment counselling’, this intervention supports couples to process their ambivalence and doubts around the relationship. Whether one or both partners are tempted to call it quits, the process offers a specialised approach for couples in crisis.
How does it work?
Pre-separation counselling consists of two or three focused sessions. Unlike regular couples counselling, the goal isn’t to resolve issues or deepen connection, but to help each partner reflect on their feelings and determine their position regarding the future of the relationship.
Through facilitated discussions, conflict and miscommunication are kept at bay so that couples can make grounded, informed choices about the way forward from here.
What will we discuss?
Depending on each couple’s unique circumstances, we typically cover:
Each partner’s feelings and points of view about ending the relationship or giving things another go.
Ownership from each partner about the role they played in the deterioration of the relationship.
Clarity on a joint decision and an agreed way forward. This can be:
A pause on separating while you try one last time for a set period.
Trialling a temporary separation before making a final decision.
Agreeing that permanent separation is the best way forward.
When the decision is to separate, we look at:
Practical considerations like living arrangements, finances, parenting and pet care, until matters are resolved formally.
Agreements and boundaries that create an agreed ‘container’ for how the separation will unfold, including how communication will be managed.
Who is informed about the separation, how they are told, and when this happens.
Support strategies for coping through the transition from ‘couple’ to ‘individual’.
If you or your partner are on the brink of calling time on the relationship, pre-separation counselling can help provide the clarity and support you need.
