Bearing witness to grief
Why grief counselling helps people grieve
If you are reading this because you are grieving the loss of a loved one, let me begin by saying I am so very sorry for your loss.
As a community we tend to think of grief as a very private emotion. We tip toe cautiously around grief, always afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse for the griever. We are not good at being there for people in grief, we want to calm over rough, raw emotions or nudge grievers to look towards the future, or silver linings, usually when it is way too soon for them to do so.
When it is us grieving, a lack of prolonged and appropriate support can make our grief worse. We might feel rushed to ‘get over’ or ‘move through’ our loss. We might cover up our true feelings because those around us can’t deal with them. Our grief may be complicated by secondary losses, guilt, trauma, old wounds or our complex relationship with the deceased.
World renowned grief expert, David Kessler, brings a new take on the needs of the grieving that is transforming how counsellors support people in grief. Where earlier models of grief counselling centred around stages or phases, models and tasks, we now know that every grief experience is unique to the griever. David believes that what people in grief need more than anything else is to have their grief witnessed and to not be alone in their grief.
This sounds very simple. But sitting with somebody in enormous grief and pain is not easy. Often it is beyond the emotional ability of family and friends to cope with. Counsellors are trained to sit with people experiencing very intense feelings, and to support them make sense of these feelings. It is important for people in this depth of pain to know they have a place where they can safely express, explore and integrate it.
I am a certified practitioner of David Kessler’s Grief Educator Program and have been trained by David in his world class techniques, now providing them to help grieving clients here in the Macedon Ranges. If you, or someone you know, requires support in their grief, I am here to help.
